How Long To Date Before Marriage: Does Time Really Matter?
The question of whether to get married or not is just about how well you know the other person or whether you can imagine life with the person. The right time is when both are sure. But when is the best time to get married? US researchers provide an answer to this question. According to weddingstats.org, it has been estimated that couples spend 4.9 years (58.7 months) in a relationship on average before getting married. This means that they get to know each other better before tying the knot. You can also learn more about mail order marriage statistics.
It shows that couples who were together for at least three to five years before they got married have a more stable marriage. In addition, women over 25 are more likely to have a long-term marriage. In the long run, flash marriages seem to work less often. Today, every person has a chance to find bride for marriage with the help of dating sites and services online.
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Pros and cons of marriage
- Officially being a family
- Relationship becomes more legitimate
- You can fall in love with each other more every day
- Weddings are expensive
- Chance of divorce
What is the perfect time to get married?
Many of us wonder what time is perfect for marriage, or how long to date before marriage, but this answer is very individual and subjective. In keeping with the statistics worldatlas.com, the average age of women at first marriage in Eastern Europe ranges between 22-26 years. Most men in Eastern Europe marry at the age of 22-24. Meanwhile, most women in Asian countries wait longer to get married. For example, in Korea, the average age of women at first marriage is 30 and in Japan — 29. At the same time, the lowest mean age at which women get married is in Latin America and it is 18 years. In the US the mean age of men at first marriage is 29 years, while for women, the average age is 27 years. Besides, according to the National Library of Medicine, on average women are 2.5 years younger than their husbands.
Length of dating before marriage statistics to point out
When it comes to building relationships, people want to know when’s the right time to make things more serious and get married. Although they often decide to tie the knot depending on their feelings, there are studies mentioning the so-called “perfect” length of time the couple should be together before getting married.
For example, one of the most intriguing findings is that people who have been together for one to two years before taking their relationship to another level had a 20% lower chance of divorcing. Meanwhile, the couples that dated three years and more had this chance lower by 50%. This explains why couples that wait about 5 years before marrying have more chances to keep their relationship stable.
Also, the couples who were quicker to get married, namely those who dated for around 18 months, half of which they were engaged, tend to survive to a seven-year mark. Yet, many divorced after that. This proves that couples that date longer have more time to get to know each other better and understand what to expect from their partners. In this way, they also find out about the possible deal-breakers that might appear later on.
Of course, there are exceptions to every rule because, for example, Shirley Temple married her husband after 12 days of dating and spent half a century in a happy marriage with him. So, does the length of courtship affect the marriage? Yes, it does. But is it a necessary condition? Actually, it’s not, but it does play a significant role if you don’t want to play the odds when it comes to something as serious as marriage.
How long does the average couple date before getting married: What do people say?
We analyzed several popular forums, and these are some of the tidbits from people who shared opinions about the average time to date before proposing based on their experiences:
- Jaden, 47: “I think that people should be dating as long as it takes them to understand that love isn’t magical enough to make the marriage work out on its own. They should agree on working to make their marriage last and putting effort into keeping their relationship growing.”
- Alaric, 50: “Although it all depends on where in life you are, I would say that you should be dating a girl for at least 1 year to get to know her well and understand what to expect from her. But even so, I would say that dating for at least 3 years will help you make a more considerate decision about getting married.”
- Noah, 44: “I believe that there’s no “golden” average relationship length before marriage because if you know that she’s the one, you know it for sure. My wife and I moved in after 3 weeks of dating and got married after 9 months. We’ve been together for 14 years so far.”
The recommended duration of relationship before marriage
Most relationship psychologists and experts recommend that all couples be together for at least 12 to 18 months before taking the next step. Couples who dated 1 or more years are 20% less likely to get divorced than couples which dated less than 1 year. Research has shown that the saying “love is blind” is really true. In the first phase of the relationship, when you think everything about the other person is great, the brain functions are reduced and you can’t see over all the little quirks of your partner. Once the phase is over, problems may arise. Nowadays, thanks to the internet, international marriages are becoming more popular than ever, here you can find the list of top mail order bride sites.
Practical reasons for marriage
In addition to romance, there are also a few very solid reasons for marriage:
- Desire to have children
- Legal status and financial security
- Less chance to get depressed
- Continuation of your family name
- Higher level of happiness
The wish to have children is very important. Children should grow up in the family, which often means that everyone in the family has the same surname. Besides, marriage clearly defines the duties of the father and mother towards their children. Another important reason for marriage is that you signify a life-long commitment. One recent study found that in comparison with persons who are not married, married couples have a higher level of happiness. Moreover, marriage has a positive effect on the financial and legal status of a couple. The constant support of loved ones does not make it possible to feel lonely and significantly reduces the chance of getting depressed.
What should you pay attention to in advance?
How to understand that the right time has come for the wedding proposal? Of course, every couple has its own unique time, but there are a few pointers as to when the perfect time for the proposal is there. A marriage proposal is a decision that will have a major impact on your entire future life. Therefore, it is important for you and for your partner to choose the right time and not to rush into anything. For such a step in your life, the best way to get started is to ask yourself a couple of questions.
- Am I ready to spend my whole life with this woman?
- Do I want to raise children with her?
- Do I see us together in old age?
Tips for life together
What’s more, it should not be forgotten that a marriage vow also has a very personal side. Here are some signs that will help you to understand if you are ready for the next step in your relationship.
- You feel comfortable with your partner.
- You don’t need other people to have a good time with your loved one.
- You understand each other’s “love language.”
- You share similar values.
- Together, you make plans for the future.
- You dream of creating a family together.
- You enjoy every minute you spend with your partner.
And yes: couples who wait too long to get married also endanger their partnership. And who likes to give away their best years without creating and starting a new family together with their partners? Besides, partners quickly recognize that their desires are falling by the wayside, and slowly but surely withdraw from the relationship. In principle, each couple has to decide for themselves when it’s time to say yes to each other. As far as you want to take this step at all.
The importance of engagement
A marriage proposal is often associated with pure romance: flowers, amorous looks, words full of love, and, of course, a beautiful engagement ring. Perhaps a man even falls on his knees in front of his loved one. But engagement is more. The promise to grow old together is probably one of the most romantic words of love of all time. It’s reason enough to make your own partner happy with it.
In the US the average time between engagement and marriage is at least 1 year. A long engagement has a lot of advantages for a couple. First, it gives you more time to save and plan. We are all aware that a wedding ceremony can cost a fair amount of money — 2.1 million weddings are performed in the US. That is nearly 6,200 weddings a day. And only 26% of couples had their wedding ceremony in a religious institution.
To sum up
For some, getting married is simply part of the process; for others, their love doesn’t necessarily have to be written down on paper. Either way, if one of the two partners wishes to marry, couples shouldn’t wait too long.